Friday, December 31, 2010

winter solitude

Tess wanted to believe it was a dream. A part of her thought maybe she'd gone mad, but if she had, well..she would have killed someone, by now. And she hadn't.

A part of her felt more distant than she wanted to be. Christmas, seemed a life-time away now. And what was she to do, but go on with things.

"You're so quiet." Molly told on those days between holidays when they were working at the library.  Lots came in hurried for more movies before the next snow storm came through.

"Well, isn't that a good thing." Tess tried to make the best of it. She went in the motion of things and tried not to think that Dex had been her bed on Christmas eve. Oh, she had no trouble doubting it was him. He was in her bed, all right. But she'd been so sleepy then. A part of it had felt like a dream, but the more conscious she became..she knew it was a horrible nightmare. How had he found a way in? After all this time.

Why hadn't she screamed? She was mad at herself, mostly. And then she thought of Puck. She'd let him down. She really had and it was a sad feeling that clung to her that she had to be the worst human ever, especially to be with such vermin like Dax.

She felt lathargic now. And it was coming more clear to her, there were bruises. On her arms. Places she dared to look at. She felt so much colder now. She slept less. The only solitude she could find now was to sneak into Puck's bed in the early morning hours. For a few hours she was warm, feeling safe. But she supposed it was only temporary.

She'd listen to Molly complain about Sal, how he only wanted a burger and egg for breakfast. How he would not give up that rusty spatula even if she got him a new rubber one for Christmas. Tess would try to smile. Molly had no idea how good she had it, with the boy who didn't want to grow up.


better days said...

I dunno..maybe Dax won't win.

lucy and sarah said...

I feel so blue for her.

ivy said...

Such a sad time, but hope things will look up for her.

Holly said...

Man, I feel for her.

Yesha said...

I feel so sad for her as well. :((

Cafe Fashionista said...

Awww...I hope things get better for her. :(

meg said...

Maybe she won't let Dax ruin her life.

Nikolo Bulaun said...

yeah agree :)

i have new posts hope you like it :)