There was so much Tess wished she could figure out. Especially, Puck.
But maybe..maybe it was better not too.
A part of her knew she wasn't good enough for him. There were so many times, she wanted to tell him how Dax had been there. And how she needed all of them to protect her. Why was she so...vulnerable.
She tried not to think about it. She wanted to think the best. Not the worst. And she hoped she never saw Dax ever again.
It would wake her in the night. Thinking what Puck would say if he knew. She should have done something. Then. Not now. Why hadn't she?
It was such turmoil in her mind, her heart felt terribly sad. She had to act as if everything was all right. But what if it wasn't? What if it were true?
This was all it would ever be. What she had with Puck which was what it was. Going through the motions of a protector who had no idea he was even protecting you from anything.
She watched him smoke on the front steps of his house now. It was in the negatives out, and there he was in his parka smoking as if this was his natural state.
"Stop smoking." Tess said what she was thinking. Molly had already gone in. It was Sal and Molly's turn to make dinner.
"What?" He looked a little shocked, but he didn't hesitate with the cigarette.
"Stop smoking. Its bad for you." She gave him a dead stare.
"I guess I could, but then Sal would be all alone in the boiler room, to smoke." He shrugged.
She sat next to him and looked at her black army boots. "Yeah, that would be so awful."
"Are you trying to be funny?" He gave her a sly look.
"Yeah, whatever it takes for you, to stop smoking." She sighed. "Everyone smokes around me. I never could. I'm not a smoker. It makes me gag."
"Seriously?" He winced.
She nodded, hugging herself in the cold. Finally, he put his cigarette out.
"Next thing I know, you'll tell me, you want me to stop sleeping with you, and you'll have the bed all to yourself. I know how you work. You move around too much." He informed her.
"What can I say, I have vivid dreams." She made little of his comment.
"Am I in any of those dreams?" He shoved his hands in his pockets.
A smile slipped. She just looked at him, thinking this might be as good as it got, but she didn't mind.