That look. Tess was bound to know. She did. Molly assumed it, the instant their eyes locked in the breakroom. The library hadn't even opened yet, and they were waiting for the tea kettle to whistle.
"So, did you have fun last night?" Tess asked.
"You know." Tess shrugged, not wanting to get into it with her. Molly couldn't look at Tess or she'd know about Jory.
Molly got her cup ready. She ripped the LEMON LIFT tea bag out of its wrapper. She really didn't know what she could say. "It was just Jory." Even so, little nerves short through here. She felt nausea and a bad ache in her throat. Of course, she hadn't even eaten breakfast. She'd left Jory's before he even got up.
Yes, it was suppose to be revenge sex. She guessed, with a big sigh now as she thought on it. And really, she didn't think Jory would go through with it. She cringed at the thought, but maybe Sal was right about him, all along. Sal never thought Jory was that gay.
She wanted to think it was the cheap couch in the livingroom that made her not want to go through with it. It was rather stop and start. "I can't. Not here." Anyone could have walked in to his apartment, she imagined. But there were three locks on the door and Jory lived alone. So, they'd moved to the bedroom. And it was really quite comfortable, for sleep, not sex. They kissed. It just didn't feel right. She got moody. Because, all she could think of were those eyes of Sal's, looking at her. So sad.
But she'd roll into Jory who still had on his red T and nothing else under the blanket. It started to happen even if were quite clumsy and her nose crashed into his. His lips were foreign to her, giving her a razor burn. She kept studying him. He was the most baby faced guy she knew, but there felt like a sword on his upper lip.
The threat of taking that step out of one life..into another. Finally. She winced hard. Everything undone. Clothes on the floor. The bed might as well been burning with heat. "I can't! I just can't!" Molly crawled back into her clothes. Exited to the livingroom. Alone. Such a ridiculous moment she guessed. She'd slept on the lumpy couch or at least tried too.
She looked sadly at Tess now. If only, she'd wanted it badly enough, she might have had a good night's rest, but no she tossed and turned thinking of Sal and what he might be doing. Still, she didn't call. She didn't have the nerve to call.
"I think you should stay another night with Jory. Maybe the whole week." Tess woke Molly back to reality.
"What? No. Why would I do that?" Molly winced as she watched Tess pour the hot water in the cups.
"It might do you both some good." Tess shrugged.
"What happened?" Molly looked at Tess who was playing with the tea bag, letting it dance about.
"I just think Sal needs another night by himself." Tess told her as she got out some honey for her tea and squirted some in Molly's, as well. Molly just watched the syrup swrill around in the hot tea. It was there and then it wasn't. A lot like Jory. She winced, thinking about him. Wondering what he was doing right now. But then thoughts of Sal came more clear to her.
"No. No. I'm coming home. I shouldn't have..have gone to Jory's in the first place." A chill came around her. Impossible to shake. As much as she knew she could count on Jory. It would just never be like that. It just couldn't be. She felt so nausea now. She wasn't even sure she should be here.