Tuesday, July 26, 2011

the last resort

Molly contemplated it for sometime. Some days more than others. Most days when it was a shitty day at work. It was the last resort.

The Airforce.

She'd talked to her cousin about it. Mainly e-mail. Of course, he was in some mysterious destination working on computers. He couldn't even tell her where he exactly was. But it had to be better than this.

"All righty then!" Sal couldn't be happy enough about it when she blew up one afternoon when she got off work. "You can go around the world, and I can be right there with you!" Naturally, that smile of his irked her, all the more.

"You can not be serious." Tess pulled her right into the kitchen when she heard such nonsense coming from Molly. "You have no idea what rough is, evidently." Tess stared her down as if she would put her in a trance and bring her back to a reality she could live with. "Boot camp is quite painful, you know, even if it is the Air Force. And..and what if you don't make the grade. Not even get in. They might send you to one of the other branches. Besides, everyone is coming home." Tess crossed her arms and waited for Molly to say something.

"I'm never going to get ahead, am I?" Molly sighed.

"There is always the lottery." Tess grinned. "Look, you've got so much going for you. Quit looking at the glass half empty. You've got your health. You've got Sal and a baby that you didn't actually have to push out of your own uterus."

"You're really not making me feel any better." Molly winced as if she didn't need having baby Dez brought into this.

"Fine. Whatever. If that's what you want. The military. Then do it." Tess told her. "But are you really in shape? So what, you're skinny, but you're not really strong. Everything makes you cry at work. They don't like crybabies."

"I know." Molly hugged herself then.

"You've stopped taking your Zoloft, haven't you?"

Molly just shrugged.

"Have you?" Tess cut open the sweet melon on the counter then. Molly watched. Soon enough they were eating the sweet juicy green melon.

"You know, you like your Zoloft. You did before. What changed?" Tess questioned between bites.

"I can't sleep anymore..not..since..." She hated to say it was all Dez's fault. he was just a baby. A baby who did like her. He wanted to wallow all over her when she held him. Honestly, he was just like Sal. How could that be possible?

She knew she should embrace the situation. But the problem was, embracing took a lot longer than she thought possible. Molly didn't mean to runaway. She didn't mean to stop taking her antidepressants, either.

It was hard when some people expect so much from her. She was just one person. And she didn't know the answer to everything. She hardly knew the answers about herself as it was. She couldn't even plan a one night stand with her closest friend. And he was actually willing to be the other guy.

No, this was her world. These were her friends. Her family. It was never easy being a grownup, especially with a husband who might never grown up.


lucy and sarah said...

Poor Molly! Maybe she'll see her way through this.

ivy's closet said...

I think we all have days like that at work.

Cafe Fashionista said...

I feel horrible for Molly right now. :(

Stephanie said...

I hope things turn out better for Molly!

Eternally yours,

meg said...

I have a feeling a lot of people depend on her..at home and at work.

She is Sara said...

Things are hard, especially for a married young adult :(

Holly said...

I hope she stays strong.

Lorena said...

oh poor molly! hope it worked out..