Sunday, September 25, 2011

somewhere not so far away

Michelle liked to think she'd be ready to date again, some day. Perhaps when she figured out her own life. When she did, she'd try to remember those things her mother always told her. Look for the guy who's going give you a good life.

It sounded like a great wisdom to remember, but it was kind of vague. Hadn't she tried that? Kind of. She never really knew Bo. She hated herself that she didn't. Still she married him, thinking there would be time and after all, it happened so fast. Then his parents and Bo found out she was pregnant after he was already in Afghanistan.

Michelle guessed she liked drama. Why else did would she do it? The lies. It was easier to go with it, and she'd made herself sick, thinking it over now. She promised she wouldn't. But it felt like a rut of some kind. She didn't want to be stuck, anymore. The more she listened to Dax, she was beginning to think he was talking about someone else that was not her. She supposed she'd just have to see him less. But who was she going to talk to, if it wasn't Dax?

Still, it would be better if she didn't depend on him. She'd try not too.

He was not on her mind when she went to bed that night. And when she dreamed, it was shows and actors she'd seen on TV. 90210 revisited. Of course, no one like Dax was about. Models poising as actors in amazing outfits on the beach, by the fire. So far away, from where she really was. Yet, the dream went serious. News Flash. And it wasn't about heavy metal falling to earth. She was actually watching TV in her dream, imagine that? There was a  boy. Dark eyed, dark haired. She knew him. She thought so. They'd arrested him. But he was just a kid. Hardly, ten, she imagined. But in the next moment, the boy was there, he ran to her, hugged her tight. He wouldn't let go.

"Don't leave me." He kept saying. "Please, don't leave me."

When Michelle awoke, her eyes were wet. Instantly, she thought of Sal. Was she dreaming about him? She shook her head. But the dream was so vivid. She saw how the boy looked at her. She was suppose to do something.

After her shower and some quick instant coffee, she was sure she'd forget the dream, but she didn't. She now found herself smiling about it, as she got to work. Maybe she'd have another dream about the dark haired boy. What had he done? Why would he think she'd leave him? It was as if her dream was a book, and she wanted the next chapter. Now.

Soon enough, she found herself daydreaming about the silly dream. It was something to take her away from the mundane world at the office. Sure, there were phone calls to answer, information to take and type into the computer. Still, she found herself thinking how he hugged her, so close.  Was he, her son? What if Sal was no better a parent than she ever thought she could be? But the boy didn't look like Sal. His hair was straight.

Of course, she knew she was pondering about it too much. Hopefully, she wasn't talking out-loud to herself at her cubical while she ate her peanut-butter and jelly sandwich at lunch. She caught herself filling up with tears. She was making herself sick. She couldn't wait to get home and go straight to bed. She wanted the dream to come back. Maybe she was just going crazy.

Thirty minutes before her shift was over, someone came to tell her. "Phone call."

Michelle cleared her throat and took it. Kramer was on the line.

"Look, I'm sorry to bother you, but could you pick Dax up, from work? He did something to his back. I told him I'd do it, but I've got to pick up my kids from school." He told her.

Michelle didn't say anything for the longest time. Suddenly, a calm set in. "Of course, I can do it."


ivy's closet said...

Funny, how dreams can stir you like that.

lucy and sarah said...

A very interesting dream. Glad she's gonna help Dax.

meg said...

Wow, that's a haunting dream. I hope Dax is OK.

Gianella Peralta said...

What's with the dream? I can't wait to find out who the guy in her dream is..

Cafe Fashionista said...

I hope Dax is okay. :/

Holly said...

Michelle must be torn. So sad. Hope he's OK.

She is Sara said...

Wow, I hope he is alright. So much going on with Michelle.

lola said...

thank you for your lovely comment!

love, lola

Belle Armed said...

waking up with wet eyes.. I know that feeling

Anonymous said...

You write so well, I feel the need to read all your posts!


Florence said...

awesome writing style you have!!

S. said...

Lovely post. Love your header by the way :)

/S / http://