Sunday, October 23, 2011

maybe maybe maybe

So much squash. Michelle wasn't so sure what to do with it. She went back home, wondering if Dax was really OK. Wondering, how bad his childhood really was. Why hadn't anyone ever helped him?

Visions of him sleeping in a damp basement like an animal, overwhelmed her. He never said it was like that, but she imagined growing up was never easy for him, especially if he was hungry most of the time.

She googled and found his record. He'd been in Juvie a lot. Fighting, mostly. She supposed he was a bully in school. Still, it didn't really frighten her. She'd seen Bo at his worst when he was drunk. Sometimes, she wondered if she enjoyed bringing out the worst in others. Now, she had a different perspective on things. Maybe it was age or everything she'd given up to start over from scratch.

She couldn't let herself be attracted to him, but here she was looking for photos of Dax in yearbooks online. Michelle wanted to see the good in him. She knew it was there. Still this fire of wanting to know him more needed to be distinguished. Yet, she'd call him for the slightest things. Then she'd be so mad at herself, later. Why was she letting this happen?

Michelle would tell him she was busy, but that would only last for a couple of days. Next thing she knew she was calling him to see if he were up for a matinee. She hoped he would always be up for a matinee.

And there was the squash. "Maybe we should make bread." Michelle thought it best to keep it simple. She'd taken the squash home and here she was in the kitchen getting him to grate the squash for loaves of sweet bread.

"You can freeze them. Give it for gifts at work." She sounded like Betty Crocker's grand-daughter, she thought as she got out the bowls along with sugar and flour. Yes, she'd have to keep him busy. Stop asking so many questions, she remembered. Michelle cracked eggs, but she let Dax mix up the batter.

"Did you ever cook-" Michelle knew she shouldn't ask.

"Um, no." Dax shook his head, as if he needed her to tell him what was next.

"My Mom, used to make this." She told him. It was no time to ask him about exes. "But we never had a garden." She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. She guessed it was true. He was her only project. At least, she didn't wonder how the baby was doing with Sal. She got teary eyed at the thought... she hadn't thought of the baby until now.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing." But she was overwhelmed with tears. She hugged him while he held on to the mixer. Michelle looked back to see he was trying not to make mess. She kissed him lightly on the cheek. She told him she might be coming down with a cold. "Maybe we should get our flu shots."


ivy's closet said...

Maybe this is really good for Michelle.

She is Sara said...

I think they are great together :)

meg said...

I think they're getting closer!

lucy and sarah said...

I'm glad this is going like this.

Cafe Fashionista said...

I love them together! :)