Saturday, May 21, 2022

Inside, out of love, what a laugh

 "Are you sure you got rid of her?" Tobey looked at Devon out of the corner of his eye. How could he really trust a white-trash boy like him?

"Yeah, she's out of here," he said they had the whole place to themselves. He promised Carrie was not a problem.

Tobey unloaded his arsenal on the bed. He said he'd taken care of the problem last night with the bartender. 

"He won't be bothering us anymore." Tobey shrugged. 

"Fuck, you gotta lot of weapons, bro," Naturally, Devon had to pick up the long rifle. It was after all the biggest beast there. Although, there was a lot more to it than just a shotgun. The sawed-off shotgun that Tobey customized himself was pretty damn powerful that was next to the long rifle. And those plastic ones from the Three D Printer were smart and always got the job done. Tobey couldn't help but have a smart smile. After all, he was a bit crafty.

Devon plopped the shotgun back on the bed. Tobey only sighed and told him he needed to be careful. How could he trust a dude so white? Tobey knew these were desperate times.

"So if we get the money, then we can get the goods?" Devon's smart mouth made it sound so easy. To Tobey, it was one iceberg after another. There was nothing easy about it. They would have to move swiftly and of course, carefully. As it was, he worked for Devon. They weren't real friends, even if Devon might think differently. They weren't of the same cut. 

"Let's go shooting," Devon was ever so happy-go-lucky. Tobey gave him a weak smile. Did the dude think he'd ever be a sharpshooter? Tobey only sighed. That shit had a lot to learn. Tobey picked up some pistols. He already had a membership at the shooting range.

Tobey handed him a pistol. They couldn't bring the whole she-bang. People might get suspicious of their operation. It was an operation. Although, Tobey doubted Devon knew this. He might not have been the smartest tool in the shed. Too bad, Devon hadn't thought about going back to the University. But it was too late. Tobey needed him and of course, this place. So there was a plan. It would make them rich.

Devon wouldn't know where to go. Tobey knew he'd be driving him to the range and hoping he could teach that fool a thing or two about aiming and gun safety. As it was, there was only one of them that was keeping them alive and it wasn't Devon.

"Dude, these are not toys," Tobey stared at him with a sigh as Devon aimed the gun at him. 

"Gotcha," Devon grinned with a nod and followed Tobey out to the car. All this time, Tobey planned on Devon being the getaway driver, but it wasn't looking good. If only Tobey could talk someone else into getting in on this little venture. He didn't know if the two of them could really pull this off. The question was, who would be stupid enough to join them?

Tobes hit the pavement in the old Thunderbird and took them straight to the Bullet Hole on a hot windy day. Sweat might have been trickling down his face from the warm ride, but Tobes was as cool as a cucumber. Of course, Devon had to act like a fool with the girl at the register who checked them in.

Chrissy looked at Tobes as if she knew it was hopeless. Tobes gave her more of a wink than a wince. If anybody knew how to handle a gun around here, it was Chrissy. 

Devon walked on down the distant dizzy hall. Chrissy leaned across the counter and whispered in his ear. "Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

He only smiled back. "I'm used to unhappy endings."

Saturday, May 14, 2022

Stop waiting for permission to be who you want to be

 Holly couldn't help but sulk. Sure Carrie spent the night (early morning) in Holly's room in her bed. After all, it was the only bed, and they both slept like rocks until the late afternoon.

Of course, Carrie was up before her and the laundry was already done and the livingroom was quite tidy. Holly wasn't used to this kind of neatness. Maybe she could get used to it, but she shook the thought.

"You have to call your brother," Holly informed her when she sat down to the late lunch of finger sandwiches and cut veg. She crunched on a carrot while Carrie went to get her some pink lemonade. "What is wrong with you two?"

"Oh, it's just Devon," she shrugged as if he was her hateful brother. Always. "He doesn't like me. Never has."

"Why wouldn't he? Don't you think he'd miss all this?" Holly winced a face and moved her hands about that this was a good thing. "You do all the chores don't you?"

"Maybe," but she was really closed mouth about it. She wouldn't even pick up a cucumber sandwich, but Holly gave her one anyway. 

"What is his deal?" Holly took another sandwich. What in the world did Carrie put in these little things? Cream cheese and a spice Holly couldn't even imagine. Maybe it was chives.

"He wants the house to himself." Carrie nodded.

"And he's making shit up about us too. What the hell does that have to do with him?" Holly stood up in a tizzy but she put another sandwich in her mouth and she gave it a thought as she ate another. "Will give him hell!" She was in a stomp.

"No." Carrie jumped up and did her best to soothe Holly's tense shoulders. "Give him a couple of days. He'll cool down."

"You, just don't like confrontation, do you?" Holly gave her the eye. Carrie managed a nod. She went to clean up.

"Girl, you need a backbone," Holly went to chase after her but didn't pick up a dish. Carrie said nothing as she washed the dishes and had everything cleaned up in five minutes.

"God, your fast," Holly watched her.

Carrie looked over at her and said nothing. She was on the brink of tears.

"And another thing, you are no beauty school dropout!" Holly was serious. "You are so talented. You have to go back. You have to."

Carrie only sighed.

"Did he make you quit?" Holly was back to Devon again.

"Let's not talk about this," Carrie sighed. "You'll just be upset. I've upset you enough."

"I'm not upset," Holly shook her head, no, and hugged herself. "I just don't know how you've lived so long with that brat of a brother of yours." She pressed a frown, thinking she should hug her about now, but then she didn't want Carrie to get the wrong idea.

"It's only the two of us," Carrie couldn't say anymore. Evidently, it was a fresh wound that might never heal. Honestly, Holly had never lived through something like that. Her Dad was in Fresno and her mom took care of a bunch of foster kids. Holly couldn't wait to be on her own. Maybe that was why she didn't want Carrie here, but maybe Carrie was just who she needed. Someone who would actually keep up the place.

Saturday, May 7, 2022

Here there be a will


"Ma, what is this?" Stevie detested the idea of popcorn for breakfast. "Am I supposed to pour milk over it?" There wasn't a box of cereal in the cupboards. Just popcorn. The fridge was practically bare. What were his parents up to? Was it their secret plan to make him leave?

"It's after three in the afternoon, sunny." His mother told him what was he expecting.

"No shit." Stevie jumped up from the kitchen table. He needed to be at work by four. He closed his eyes. Damn, if he didn't feel he'd been through hell and back. If it wasn't dreaming about J it was shit about Holly and how awful she was to Carrie.

He went to shower. Of course, one thing lead to another and he stayed a little longer than he should have. Hot water only meant one thing. It might have been the afternoon, but it might as well have been the first thing he did every morning. 

He smirked then. Yes, he always found time for self-love. Surly, J did that too. Afterward, he stumbled into some baggy jeans. He swore his mom was stealing all his clothes. He managed a snug tank and grabbed a faded floral shirt and was on his way.

"Mom, buy some groceries, will you!" He didn't mean to be so demanding but someone was starving. Of course, his mom was in the basement stepping up and down the bottom step, as a  way to control her blood sugar. She was so tiny. How could she possibly be overweight like the doctor said?  "Don't forget CORE POWER." He tossed her a twenty. "Buy some for me, too."

Evidently, they were both on a steady diet of protein shakes. 

Finally, he felt the sun on his face and thought it might be a pretty good day, even in the late afternoon. He texted J, hoping he'd reply. But he didn't.

Stevie guessed he said the wrong thing. He usually did, but at this point did he have to care? He got into his little FIT that was once upon a time his mom's and puttered away with the riff of  THE SOUNDS. Yeap, he needed something Swedish to keep him upbeat.

Of course, he might be traveling like a turtle. But he stayed at a steady speed. Honestly, he needed his tunes to keep him at peace. Finally, at a stoplight not far from the downtown district where he worked, he heard from J.

"So weren't you supposed to be here an hour ago?"

"Fuck," Stevie said to no one. He winced. Did J want to fire him? What the hell was he going to do if he lost this job?

It was only five minutes later that Stevie swooped in like a bat out of hell and got on his Hawaiian shirt and name tag.

"I..I was having some car troubles," he said.

J only nodded as if it weren't a big deal. Stevie got busy checking in back to see if it was all good and steady with the soft serve machines.  Honestly, he did feel he was dying slowly. Of course, J was ignoring the hell out of him. But he should be used to this by now. Yet, he felt J had stripped him down and he might as well have lost his skin of confidence. Yes, he was a total loser. He knew this.

The girls in the crew got busy all silly and sweet. That's when J grabbed him by the belt loop. For a moment, Stevie was certain they were heading for the storage room but Jay kept going up the steps. The old steps of the building that was always off-limits, until now.

J took him up the stairwell until it was completely dark. His mouth reached for Stevie until he tugged at Stevie's bottom lip and his hand went right to the sweet spot in Stevie's pants as if he'd been eagerly waiting for this moment to arrive.

Stevie didn't know what to make of it. Honestly, it was a yearning he couldn't help to push into. J did his magic and all along Stevie imagined something more horizontal or even under the moon. Yet, satisfaction was on the tip of his sex.

"Let's spend the night on the roof," Jay whispered in Stevie's ear. 

Saturday, April 30, 2022

We might be crazy

 If there was one who wasn't going to win J over anytime soon, it was the sad sight of Tobey. Why in the hell did he ever pick him for a roommate? J didn't quite know what Tobes did for a living, but the boy could lay low. Sometimes, he stayed in the dark. Or just the shadows. It was as if he was afraid J might see the scars or just his real face.

J couldn't quite say Tobey was the naughty sort, but sometimes, J never knew where he was and then there he'd be as if he'd been in bed all day. He didn't think Tobes was on drugs, but evidently, love had done him wrong.

"I don't know what to think," J said while he was scrambling eggs. He doubted Tobey was listening. Was he even awake?

"Well, I'd forget him," Tobey shrugged while he was nursing on a cup of black coffee.

"That's your answer to everything," J knew it was useless to talk about Stevie. "But things were so good, you know."

Naturally, Tobey probably didn't know what that meant. He waited patiently for the eggs and toast and then ate like a starved dog.

"What kind of diet are you on again?" J made a face of disgust as he sat down and took his time to eat. Damn, if only he'd had bacon. He knew something was missing. But he took a sip of his creamed coffee.

"I told you I've been fasting," Tobey looked at him as if that was old news and J needed to get with the program. Something about an acting gig, Tobey then mentioned.

"What kind of acting do you do?" Of course, he knew Tobey would never tell. With that sorrowful look of his, it had to be art of some kind.

He knew Tobey would have showed him everything he ever needed to know about guys, but J didn't go that route. No, he was true to himself and to Stevie too. Or so he thought. As it was Tobey was a ship yet to sail and J might as well be a tug boat waiting for a mission.

Naturally, Tobey was done. A clean plate to clean. Thankfully. Tobey washed his own utensils and pasta bowl then put them in the sink rack. He drank more black coffee.

"Will you ever be in love again?" Jay looked up at him.

"Doubt it. Don't see the need." His somber soul said it all. He could probably be a pop star in some other country but here in the states he looked slightly cheap and tattered. But he had places to go. Evidently. "You need to wake up J." It was as if Tobes knew Stevie was playing him, but J didn't want to believe it.

Saturday, April 23, 2022

Giving a damn

 What the hell was this about? Something had happened and Holly had to be such arse. Stevie gave her a funny look. Of course, J was on his mind, but this thing with Carrie. The poor little thing needed some compassion.

He grabbed Holly's hand and took her to the bathroom. At least it smelled of fresh mint, but of course, Carrie had been there before them because she needed to freshen up. At that time, Stevie had a lot on his mind, wondering how to unload on Holly. Perhaps.

"What did you do!" He was in a whispered shout. Carrie was out in the kitchen making tea and toast. 

"What do you mean?" Holly winced hard as if she was the fool in all this. A stupid fool going about her business not minding who she might hurt. Yes, he had his ways of making her spill about the ordeal at Sal's.

"You get mixed up with a bartender, have blood on your face, and expect Carrie to fix everything!" He got in her space. No way was he kissing up. He'd let her know who she was. Plain and simple. He had her backed in a corner. Finally, she sat on the commode seat. She sighed.

"OK, we ..we might know, made out..I guess." She said it was all a blur to her. She just hadn't wanted to think about Trace and everything that went down.

Of course, she'd left in one of Carrie's tracksuits. Didn't Holly know Carrie was the best? As in probably so much better than the bartender...Stevie sighed. 

"She's been hurt," Stevie told her.

"Who? What do you mean?" Holly squinted as she looked up at him.

"You! You hurt people so easily."

"I do not."

"You have to be here, for Carrie," Stevie explained.

"I do?" She gave him a soured look. Stevie nodded.

"Just one more thing," he said he was leaving. He needed to sleep in his own bed.


"Was it limp or still hard?"

Stevie didn't even wait for an answer.  He didn't look back. He grabbed a piece of buttered toast before he left.

"You tell me if she gives you any trouble," Stevie said to Carrie right before he stuffed the crunchy toast in his mouth.