Sunday, February 12, 2012

such a caring thought

"Are you sure? Are you really ..really...sure?" Sal was ecstatic. This couldn't possibly be. Molly wanted to adopt Dez. He was doing his best to simmer down, just the way Puck reminded him.

Sal was in the middle of making Valentines day cookies. Actually. He'd never made them before. There was a time or two, he wanted to run off to the bakery to fetch a dozen, but he'd have to get Dez ready for the trip, and Dez was so happy watching Sal in the kitchen. Sal couldn't mess that up.

Valentines was never his big holiday. He didn't really believe in getting flowers. They'd been over that story a million times, how they just die. Old wilted things, after awhile. Luckily, Puck brought home a dozen red roses for Molly and Tess too. He'd gotten home fifteen minutes before the girls arrived. Sal knew he owed Puck.

"So tonight..." He was making sirloin and lobster. A real feast. "Maybe we should go out." He smiled with a shrug. After all it was a bit of a celebration. Molly deciding to be a mother to Dez.

"That's not necessary." She picked up the baby from his swing.

"Hmmm.." He could honestly use a drink right now. He could, but he wouldn't. He was practically covered up to his armpits in flour. Sal went to check on the cookies. Browning nicely this time. He switched off the oven. "I guess I should get out that lovely wine, you like so much." He went to find it under the baker's rack Suddenly, he felt nervous. As if she really did love them both. How could he have doubted her? Thinking he needed to jump through hoops and the like to impress her.

They were fine. Actually, fine.

"Maybe we shouldn't keep Dez, all to ourselves." Molly sighed as she held Dez's fat little hand in her fingers. He was drooling on her best sweater. And she wasn't even fretting.

"Well? When have we ever?" Sal winced with a laugh as he uncorked the wine and poured it into some wine glasses. "We've got Puck and Tess. And my mom. Kramer's the best uncle in the world. Your parents gave Dez such a sweet Christmas present."

"No, I mean Michelle." She looked at him.

Sal thought he might have a stroke. He gulped at his glass of wine. "What ever are you talking about?" There was no need to even mention her name. He never wanted to speak of Michelle.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

until this moment

Molly knew who they were, immediately, when they stepped into the library. Funny, she'd never noticed how perfect Michelle looked until today. Maybe, it was because she was happy.

Molly knew all about her. Well, Sal's version. And yes, they'd met once long ago. When they were younger at a party. And she remembered how rude Michelle was to Sal. Molly supposed it was her fault. As it was, Michelle tossed her drink on Sal.

"See what I have to put up with? With her." He said then. Of course, it was Michelle who started it, no less. Naturally, Sal thought what a waste of rum and coke. It was on his face and his shirt. Molly was on Sal's side. They were friends. And he was so funny. It was hard to think straight around him. Sometimes, it was now, too.

Molly hugged herself and slank behind the blinds of the circulation office. But she watched from afar. They were helping the little girl look for books. The more she watched Michelle's smile, the more sullen Molly became. It was uncomfortable, perhaps. Molly couldn't be nice. The power was not there.

"I think I need a break." She told Tess as she made her way to the breakroom, pouring some morning coffee in the middle of the afternoon. She made a face as she smelled it. She was sure it was harmless, but it looked like a danger concoction. Molly went to find milk in the fridge. As she was pouring the milk into the coffee, it suddenly occurred to her that Michelle might want to see Dez. She almost lost her cup in the sink.

She didn't like this feeling, coming over her. Molly set down and stared at her coffee. A sadness over took her. She loved the baby. It was true. As much as she kept telling herself she couldn't be attached to Dez, Molly just couldn't. Because he wasn't really hers.

She'd felt this sadness the moment he arrived. He wasn't hers. It pained her so. Such a miserable feeling it was. Molly let herself breath, or so she tried. She put the coffee in the sink. This needed to be done before it was too late.

Molly hurried to the children's area. She didn't see Michelle, anywhere. Her husband was with the girl who was reading aloud to him a chapter book. She looked toward the fiction, the DVDs and the music. Michelle wasn't there, either. So, she went to the Women's restroom.

Just as she arrived, she heard someone coming out of the stall. Their eyes met, but Michelle said nothing. She washed her hands.

"I..I was just wondering. If..if you .." Molly hugged herself. "Since you're married now, are you going to try know..want the baby back?" Molly felt her nose slightly water. She wanted to keep calm.

"I never really thought about it," Michelle said. "Do you want me to?"

"No." Molly shook her head. "I mean, must."

"Are you going to adopt him?" Her words made Molly think of the possibility.

"Yes, I think I..I want to." Molly found herself, full of laughter.

"Then, I think you should." Michelle made a quick smile and nodded. She left Molly in the restroom alone.

Molly's eyes welled up with salty tears. She had herself a very good cry, but she felt better about a lot of things now.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

as time goes by

Dax and Michelle Gooding. Did that sound right? Really?

Dax thought so. It was on their address stamp now. Who would think of such a thing? Really? But Michelle thought they needed one. They still had thank you notes to write.

She thought eloping would stop all the nonsense down at the church. Possibly, it all started when Dax fixed the church buses. He had all three up and running to perfection in a Saturday. The pastor and the congregation loved him, ever since. Or so she said.

But in the end, she'd had it her way. They escaped to Niagara Falls where they were married. It was bliss. Then again, he wondered if it was because neither had had sex in so long. Would have anyone have done? She assured him not. Not in the least. And she still made him feel that way. It was a thought of a future to come, as they sat at the dining table going through thank you cards.

"I'm not doing all of these. Remember." She gave him a sly look out the corner of her eye. Then she smiled.

 Dax thought of the simple white A line dress she wore to the ceremony. It was very exquisite even if she'd thrifted it . Her hair was up in sort of a strange puff on top of her head. Maybe French, now that Dax thought about it. He'd rented a tux. No one was there for the wedding. Yet, their pictures were on the church website. It was very upsetting to a few of the old ladies at church. It seemed there was seldom a wedding at the church these days. So they had to do it all over, again, when they got back. That second assurance that it was meant to be, and oh, so right.

"But my spelling.." He shook his head.

"I wrote down the words you have trouble with." She spotted the index card. Actually she'd written out the little thankful paragraph for him. She'd even watched his thick fingers write it out, a couple of times. Then told him he needed glasses. So now he was back the second go around with thick black rimmed glasses as if he was ready to be Clark Kent.

Still Dax hesitated. There were over two  hundred thank you notes to get through. Thank God, they weren't royalty. However, the presents kept coming. But being with Michelle was a gift, in itself, and he'd do whatever she asked of him.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

refraining from the force

"Are you listening to yourself! Seriously?" Puck was getting aggravated with Sal by the minute. They were home alone. Sort of. There was Dez kicking like a wild boy in his infant seat on the kitchen table. Watching the two of them try to whip supper into shape. Sal was chopping and Dez the baby was grinning from ear to ear, watching Sal then Puck, who was peeling potatoes.

For a second, Puck looked over at Dez and wondered if Dez knew his real father. Puck did spend a lot of time with the infant, who was growing like a weed and couldn't wait to get out of his infant seat. He would love to squirm on the floor like an inch worm, but it was best not to have him under their feet. And it was cold. Too cold for an infant to be on a floor. But it would be just awful to have kept him in the crib, because Dez wanted to be anywhere they were.

"Don't even think about it." Puck looked at Sal, pointing the potato peeler at him. "Repeat after me..."

"What?" Sal made a face of disgust and went back to his onion.

"Swear to me, that you will put it out of your mind about starting up a family with Molly, right now. You have to wait." Puck thought perhaps Sal had a bad case of winter cabin fever. He needed to snap out of it. "You have more than enough."

"You're right. I do." Sal acted as if he might be sick of himself too. "But, look at me, I didn't even gain any baby fat." He was a wiry weasel. Perhaps a pesky ferret who couldn't stop moving in the kitchen.

"Oh, God..." Puck let slip as he rolled his eyes at that. "You are hopeless. Think about Molly, will you?"

"I am. I really ..really I am." Sal winced as if he didn't see the problem.

"Look, have to get this one old enough..where he can appreciate being a brother. Have you thought of that?" Puck wanted Sal to think awful hard on this New Years resolution of his. He looked back at Dez, thinking he would try to save this child from being another Sal. Just how in the world, did Sal get this way? Sal was a hyper imp, with only one thing on his mind. And it didn't bare repeating.

Puck heard the things Sal said to Molly late at night.

"You are not a kid, anymore, Sal." Puck sighed. "Those things you think you say are sexy, are not remotely ..even..not even cute. So stop it." Puck gave him a seriously look as he waited for Sal to start pan frying the celery and onions. He went to open the vegetable soup stock and chickpeas for the vegetarian soup. "You have to respect, Molly. Believe me, I don't think there is any other woman out there who would have stuck with you, as long as she has."

Sal was quiet then. It was as if Puck stabbed him in his soul. Sal let Puck take over. Sal went to get the baby. He held him so he could watch Puck. It was pretty clear. Dez  knew who his Dad was. He pulled at the hairs on his arms with pleasure and drooled in happiness.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

as if

"Why did we pick this movie, again?" Sal winced as he dug into the buttery popcorn. Yes, he knew why he was here. He'd missed the popcorn so. He knew Molly did her best to have him on Smart Balance. But did that mean he'd have high blood pressure, if he didn't? And if he did, did that mean if he took something for his blood pressure... that would mean... no sex life.

He knew someone from work who said this was true. The guy wasn't even thirty, on blood pressure meds and no sex drive.

Sal looked at Molly. Well, there was one thing really important to him this year. Get Molly pregnant. Actually, it was just the sex he wanted. But there was a purpose in mind. Sort of.

"What are you doing?" She looked at him suspicious, as if she could read his mind. He popped a kernel of popcorn in her mouth.

"Nothing." He grinned from ear to ear. He felt a little laugh as if he knew the key to their problem. If they had a baby, then she'd stop being so bugged about this old thing that clung on to him like a wet wash cloth that became his second skin. Dez and his mother, who didn't even want to see Dez. Must he remind Molly a millionth time?

Of course, the only mother Dez knew of ..was Molly, and she was reluctant in the beginning, but she was warming up. Said his eyes were like Sal's and that hair. Oh, she loved that messy hair of Dez's. Of course, his curly stuff fell out and straight shocks of dark hair came in making him look as if he had a baby Mohawk of some kind. You couldn't find a cuter cooler baby as far as Sal was concerned.

Now thoughts of a baby girl filled his dreams. She'd look just like Molly. Wouldn't look a thing like him. Then, they'd have their two. They'd be set. It was his uncanny resolution this year. Yes, he wanted it to happen. And this was the month to do it.

Oh, he was excited. Perhaps, he was almost a weasel about it. Always finding everything so romantic at every turn. He'd nibble on her ear, right now during the previews.

Molly sighed. She was tired. He knew it before she even said it. He sucked on the big fat drink they were sharing.

He knew he was getting on her nerves.

OK, he was going to recoil that thought about the baby. He needed to make more money. He'd take a second job. He'd invest. He would save money. That was the ticket. That would make her love him more.

Sal sighed as he put his arm around her. The horror film in 3D was about to start. They needed to put on their shades and be ready to be freaked. Sal smiled and she hugged him close, already. Naw, he really liked his first idea. He was going with that one.