Faking a smile is easier than explaining why your sad

 

Carrie wasn't sure how she could get away, but Stevie asked her out for a late-night snack at the diner. Luckily, Holly went to bed on her own. And Carrie met Stevie in his little FIT just a block away. They ordered the ultimate breakfast and loads of coffee.

Oh, it was a giggly time. Just his smile to watch so animated as he sat across from her was enough relief of the dispair she felt inside. Somehow, Stevie had a way of making her happy.

"So did you get on at the nail salon?" He wanted to know.

She nodded, but it came with a plan. She would have to go back to school. "I got on just with, you know, doing the owner's nails, but..but I'm not certified." It was a bit of a downer. Although, the owner would pay for the certification.

"But, you still got on," Stevie kept smiling as if that was the importance of it. "I know they'll love your work. And you are so good at this. So perfect."

"I wouldn't say that," she knew this was not true. She did strive to be better at the craft.

"You are always, um.." He looked above as if he might get a clue, but he sighed. "You know, you are never messy. You've got that hygiene quality. And just look at you. Who wouldn't want you taking care of their nails."

She nodded as she sipped her mug of steaming creamed coffee. "What about you?"

"Oh, it's just getting Jay settled right now," He was even lipped and serious as he stirred more sugar in his black coffee. "He's got this plan. I just don't know if..if it's for me." He then told her J was afraid to go home. Something to do with his roommate. "So yeah, it's nice having him with me. It's still a lot to get used to. I guess I haven't thought about what to do."

Carrie nodded as if she understood. 

"So is Holly even-" Stevie started, but Carrie cut him off with shaking her head, no.

"Oh, she's in her own world. And well, I don't think I'm really in it." She squinted with a bit of sadness. Of course, the food came and they were delighted with crepes, the essential eggs with bacon, and biscuits. 

"I don't understand her, at times," Stevie told her. Still, he ate so fast. Carrie could hardly keep up. Maybe it was the thought that it was probably best if she somehow moved on. Only, she wasn't sure how. "She'll wake up one day. And she'll know, you're the one."

Carrie smiled imaging J telling Stevie, he was the one. She sighed and went on with the early morning breakfast.

"What do you think you'll do?" Carrie wasn't sure why she asked. Perhaps she didn't want to dwell on Holly.

"Oh, I dunno." He shrugged. "I don't think my mom is feeling well."

"Really?" She looked at him blankly, forgetting to eat. She loved listening to family problems. Just not her own.

"It might be my dad," Stevie winced. "He's been gone all this week." He looked a bit hurt about it as if it might be his fault with J moving in. "Where is he going? He's just a mailman who could retire anytime he wanted, but he won't."

Carrie gave him a nod and went for the coffee. The cherry crepes were a little much. She was so full.

Stevie looked at her plate. "At least, eat your eggs and hashbrowns."

"What?" She looked up at him.

"You have to eat."

Still, as she looked at the massive meal, all she could think of was choking. She gritted a grin and took a few bites of the tasteless hashbrowns with yolky eggs. It was turning cold. If only she could enjoy eating. And yet it was such a joy to eat with Stevie.