Live for the moments you can't put into words

 

All Stevie knew was to get J home with him. No way could he leave him on his own. They'd spent a good brunt of the night down at the police station answering questions. Now it was after midnight and all was quiet. Stevie drove him to his house in his little Fit.

Granted, Stevie wasn't used to being in the lead of anything. Generally, he watched life go by but now he had to be in charge. He had to make things better for J who was in such a sad state. J could hardly move as he sat on the edge of Stevie's bed, just with the lamp light glowing in the dark basement. 

Stevie looked around doing his best to kick accumulated stuff under the bed. He put on his best face, but he wasn't sure it could even count at the moment.

He took J's hands. Of course, J wouldn't look at him.

"You aren't thinking? You don't think I had anything to do-" It upset Stevie to even think this might have crossed J's mind. "I wouldn't!" He shook his head. "I just wanted the guy to take what we had. I didn't want him to hurt you."

Now J made a face of disgust. He finally spoke, "You could have gotten killed."

"But I didn't." Stevie shook his head, wondering if he should pinch himself. What if this was all a dream? He winced thinking back to how it was when... 

Stevie pressed a frown and hugged J. Didn't he know he was safe now?

Just then, he heard his mother's footsteps from the kitchen. He heard her make it down the steps. There she was standing with her hand over her mouth in shock.

"Ma!" Stevie was frantic. It was as if he was supposed to be hiding J. "Don't look like you've seen a ghost."

"But..but he is." Her words were very clear. It seemed to awake J to reality.

"What's she talking about?" J looked to Stevie who only shook his head, no.

"He's not a ghost," Stevie told her.

"But you killed him." She was ever so foreboding.

"What are you talking about?" Stevie winced.

"Tim fell off the bridge that night." She was ever so calm about it as she spoke of the accident. "You were in a coma for a week."

Stevie sighed. Why was she doing this to him now?

"They never found Tim's body." She told them.

"Huh?" J looked at him as if he needed to explain this to him.

Stevie nervously nursed his bottom lip and sighed. "Ma! This is J. Not Tim."

At that, she shuffled away as if she might have been sleepwalking, all along.

"You were in a coma?" J looked at him as if he might as well have flown off in a UFO.

"I don't remember," Stevie told him. "I don't remember anything."

It didn't feel like he'd been in a coma. It was a while ago. So long ago, it could have been decades, but he'd been in high school then. He winced trying to count just how many years he'd been out of high school. He didn't even go to graduation that year. He got his diploma in the mail.

He scratched the back of his head. 

"Are you trying to tell me you're accident-prone?" J asked.

Stevie shook his head, no.

"Maybe, maybe..you'll forget about the robbery too," Stevie didn't want to dwell on his forgetful accident with Tim. He put his arm around J.

"I want to," J nodded ever so sadly.

"I could make you something," Stevie said.

"Like what?" J looked at him out of the corner of his eye. They were so close. Stevie thought they should be making out, but he only smiled.

"Do you like bacon?" He asked. There was always bacon.